Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Goodbye 2010

I leave 2010 with bittersweet contentment.  Last year was so surreal that I it almost feels like it never happened.  Three huge loses of key figure heads in our family, including the most devastating loss of my dad.   An overwhelming, unsatisfying job.  A teetering relationship.  A huge weight of guilt and uncertainty about not being a good enough parent.  Increasing loss of self.  It's enough to make someone go mad.  But I survived.  I am still standing.  I am still strong.  I am still dealing with a few of these lingering emotions, I admit.  I accept that things are as they should be.  I accept that stress is brought upon us by our own ideas of how things should be happening, instead of us accepting the reality of how they actually are.  I leave this year with mended wounds and an open heart. 

Dear 2010,

You will remain a faint memory of lessons learned.  The rest I let go of, like grains of sand floating away from me in the most powerful oceans waves.  We are through.